


not ever

by civillove



Series: seblaine prompts from tumblr [83]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24561661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/civillove/pseuds/civillove
Summary: anon requested on tumblr: can we get a drabble of sebastian making blaine cry? love angst and h/c--It’s not often that Sebastian acknowledges that he fucks up, because honestly he feels like he rarely does. It’s not his fault when someone misunderstands him or takes offense to something he’s said. Sounds like a person problem, if you ask him, and he shouldn’t have to backpedal or apologize just because he crunches a fragile ego.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: seblaine prompts from tumblr [83]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/82780
Comments: 10
Kudos: 85





	not ever

It’s not often that Sebastian acknowledges when he fucks up, because honestly he feels like he rarely does. It’s not _his_ fault when someone misunderstands him or takes offense to something he’s said. Sounds like a personal problem, if you ask him, and he shouldn’t have to backpedal or apologize just because he crunches a fragile ego.

When he starts dating Blaine however, he starts owning that feeling of fucking up because that doe-eyed pain in the ass always seems to bring out things in him he didn’t know existed. Which includes saying things that he shouldn’t and hurting other people’s feelings.

Fine, he’ll own up to it if it makes Blaine happy—he knew there’d be contingency plans if they started dating anyways. He remembers telling Kurt that his boyfriend was too good for him but as it turns out, Blaine’s a little too good for _anyone._ And that definitely includes Sebastian.

Sebastian will never admit to anyone that he doesn’t deserve someone like Blaine in a million years. Yet here they are, dating one another their senior year and trying to make it through the mess that is the last bit of high school. Their relationship definitely has their rocky parts, especially since Blaine doesn’t transfer back to Dalton like Sebastian thinks he should.

The thing is, Blaine’s annoying little public school doesn’t even bother him in the long run and neither does the Boring Directions. He accepts that these are parts of his boyfriend and bites down on his tongue when he needs to. Eventually it becomes easier because he likes seeing Blaine happy, likes _making_ him happy—and it turns out having the intention of being _nice_ actually does that.

Except every so often those old ways slip right onto him like a Dalton blazer, fitting against his every curve with a warm caress.

Sometimes Sebastian is an asshole and he doesn’t realize it until it’s too late.

Not many things force him to feel like he’s fucked up but upsetting Blaine? That’s _really_ one of them. Honestly, he’s not sure how anyone deals with it—he’s ridiculously gorgeous when he’s on the verge of tears. Those big hazel eyes and wet eyelashes and barely constrained feelings bottled up right behind his ribcage. Curls just a little out of place because when he starts getting wound up he runs his fingers through them, dislodging them from too much gel. There’s this lower lip wobble thing that happens and his mouth is _pink_ from biting down on the skin, to force emotion back down even though it’s inevitable. It’s almost unfair and part of Sebastian wonders why Blaine doesn’t just do this to get things that he wants.

But that’s not the type of person he is and he never will be.

This right here? A mess of curls and wet stained cheeks and hiccupped words sitting next to him? Yeah, it’s one of the _only_ things that makes Sebastian take a step back and realize he’s fucked up.

The argument was never supposed to reach this point. He’d just been frustrated lately that Blaine’s been talking to Kurt in New York. It’s not like he expects him to stop being friends with him, Sebastian should be so lucky, but it’s about the fact that there’s phone calls _and_ Facetime _and_ Skype and it bottles up inside him because he doesn’t say anything until it’s too late.

“I understand that _you_ see him as a friend but Kurt’s still in love with you. He’s practically trying to put his tongue down your throat when you Skype one another.”

Blaine sighs patiently as they sit in Sebastian’s car outside of the Lima Bean, not even making it inside for coffee yet. “Come on, that’s not true. He’s been struggling a little with acclimating…I think he just wants to talk to someone that feels familiar.”

Something heated and mixed with deep-seeded _fear_ that he’ll lose Blaine before he even has him twists so painfully in his chest that the words come quickly. He’s _annoyed_ for the first time about who his boyfriend is,

“And you just can’t help yourself, can you? Always need to be nice to everyone.”

Blaine swallows, his shoulders tightening a little. This conversation is going in a direction that he didn’t expect. He’s quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands. His eyelashes are pretty against his pink cheeks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not a trick statement, Blaine,” And like a car crash, Sebastian can’t stop. This is something he’s learned from his father—to destroy everything beyond repair because it _feels_ better than apologizing. Because he’s already this far into it, why end it now?

“You’re too _nice,_ especially to people who don’t deserve it. Kurt broke you into a million pieces and all you do is smile as you tape yourself back together.”

Blaine bites the inside of his cheek; he doesn’t want to fight but the words resonate with something inside of him. Sebastian’s struck a nerve, “Oh, you mean like I did with you? I forgave you, didn’t I? After almost blinding me?”

“Well that was your mistake, wasn’t it?” He snaps and Blaine draws back as if the statement reaches out and slaps him across the face. “You’re one of the smartest people I know and yet you’re so _naïve_ when it comes to Kurt fucking Hummel. If you don’t want to be a doormat then stop acting like one.”

He can feel himself trip over that landmine almost instantly, the car completely silent other than Blaine’s struggled breathing. He’s trying not to cry and when he looks over at him, it’s like a punch to Sebastian’s throat. Big fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he covers his mouth with his hand.

And it all comes tumbling down around him as white-hot anger stops roaring in his ears.

Fuck.

Before he can say anything or reach over and to try touch him, Blaine is opening the door of the car and getting out. He slams it closed and quickly walks into the Lima Bean where Sebastian knows he shouldn’t follow.

His chin tips back until he’s resting against the headrest, heat beginning to settle in his bloodstream like rain dousing a fire. Being nice _really_ sucks—especially since he doesn’t seem to be any good at it.

\--

Blaine doesn’t talk to him for a few days which, really, Sebastian should expect. He knows that he won’t be able to just fix this with an apology; deep down he understands that he needs to do _better._ Because while he might not deserve someone like Blaine, his _boyfriend_ deserves someone better than he is. Someone kind and gentle, thoughtful, willing to work on their shit and apologize when they’re being an asshole.

He’s still figuring all that out, even though it’s not an excuse.

He knocks on Blaine’s door, hoping that neither of his parents answer because that’s the last thing he wants to deal with. It’s rainy and cold and he wouldn’t be surprised if Blaine forced him to wait on this step for longer than necessary, petulant little shit, before he finally turns the knob.

Blaine pauses when he sees him, face a careful mask of indifference—protecting himself from another argument starting as he looks at him. He’s wearing a long-knit sweater and a pair of joggers and Sebastian wants nothing more than to gather him up into his arms but he knows that he has to earn that.

The longer he looks at him, the more he notices the dark bags under his dulled hazel eyes, the wild curls almost out of place on his forehead, the soft pink to his cheeks. He’s been crying recently.

Sebastian sighs, “Can I come in? Please?”

The shorter considers his request before he nods, stepping aside so Sebastian can enter his house. Blaine closes the door as he shakes off the rain, opening his raincoat and running a hand through his damp locks. Blaine takes one look at him before sighing, as if he can’t physically stop himself from saying,

“Hang it up on the inside of the closet door. I’ll make you some tea.” and disappears into the kitchen. It’s a knee-jerk reaction for Blaine to take care of him even when he doesn’t deserve it— _especially_ when he doesn’t deserve it.

Sebastian does as he’s told and wanders into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe for a moment to watch his boyfriend move about the space. He puts the tea kettle on the stove and grabs a mug to set a teabag into, resting against the counter to wait for the water to boil.

He takes advantage of the small amount of time that they have, walking a few steps towards Blaine. He doesn’t touch him, not yet, wanting to give him space while he forces foreign words out from under his tongue.

“Look,” How does he explain that what happened has nothing to do with him? “I can’t stand Kurt, I haven’t since the moment I’ve met him.”

Blaine rubs one of his cheeks with an oversized sleeve of his sweater and sighs out his name. Sebastian quickly shakes his head, motioning for him to wait,

“Just, let me get this out okay?”

“You don’t apologize very often, do you.” Blaine asks, even though it’s not formed as a question. There’s the _tiniest_ tilt to the corners of his mouth and Sebastian knows, in that instant, that Blaine’s willing to forgive him if he tries.

And he takes that chance.

“No,” He admits, “I’m not often wrong.”

His boyfriend smiles loosely, not enough warmth or feeling to it as he crosses his arms over his chest and waits for Sebastian to talk.

“I don’t like Kurt because of how he treats you. Like…some sort of accessory than an actual person. Liking the idea of you to build himself up even though that means he’s just taking _pieces_ of you.”

Blaine holds onto his gaze, swallowing thickly as the words seem to register. He still doesn’t say anything just…nods his head gently as he listens.

“You open yourself up so easily to him,” Sebastian says, finally stepping over the boundary of not touching him. He reaches for Blaine’s elbows, pulling him up and off the counter so that they’re standing closer. “And I _love_ you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He sniffles, looking up at him as a single tear slips down his one cheek. “Even by you?” His voice chokes on the last word and Sebastian sighs, drawing him into his chest.

He squeezes him tightly, hands working up and down his back and threading into his hair. “Fuck, even by me _. Especially_ by me.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you, not ever.” And he finds that he does mean that, more than he’s meant a lot of things in his life.

Blaine nods against his shoulder, some of his tears seeping into the fabric of his white button-down shirt. He closes his eyes, letting Sebastian hold him until the water starts to boil, filling the room with a dull whistle that grows louder. Blaine pulls away to turn the stove off, filling Sebastian’s mug before he dunks the teabag a few times, the water turning a caramel brown.

“Drink up before you catch a cold.” His boyfriend instructs, his face brighter now that he’s not upset anymore.

Sebastian hums and keeps the mug close at hand but would rather pull Blaine against his chest again. He brushes a kiss over his forehead, memorizing the scent of his skin and hair, his hand slipping underneath the thick fabric of his sweater.

“You know, if you want to warm me up…there are other ways.”

Blaine makes a huffing sound but grins and leans up on his toes to steal a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> i clearly love writing h/c more than myself. thanks for reading and any kudos or comments that you leave. it means a lot! i'm over at blainesebastian, come say hi!


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